How Perfectionism Drove Me to Pornography.

To be honest, this is probably one of the hardest things I have ever written about. God placed this idea on my heart for a while now, and I’ve avoided it like crazy. But here I am. I’ll let you decide who won that argument.

You ever meet those people who walk around classrooms fixing every table so that they’re all lined up perfectly to one another? Or the kind who go around working every little detail that doesn’t make sense to them? Or better yet, the ones who come across as super controlling and an idea generally never works for them unless it’s theirs?

Yes. I am all the above. Every single one.

I absolutely Love to plan things and I LOVE when things turn out PERFECT to the T…at least my version of perfect, anyway.

I think that in many ways, our culture glorifies this. The idea that we need to know what we’re doing and that we need to constantly be pushing ourselves to not just win some sort of (success) race, but to win that race by ten miles. Coming in first is no longer enough. In order to be happy, life needs to be perfect, Right?

I mean, how many times have we watched movies in which the woman is looking for the ‘perfect’ man or someone is looking for the ‘perfect’ job? How often has that happy ending been the ‘perfect‘ ending–where everything goes back to the way it’s supposed to be?

But here’s the real truth:
My obsession with perfectionism, drove me into an addiction to pornography.

Growing up as a pastor’s kid, I never thought that I would ever struggle with porn. And I was a woman, so the odds of me ever dealing with something like this were super slim…right?

That was probably the first mistake I made: When we underestimate the power of temptation, we fall right into it.

How does perfectionism play into this?

You see, when you constantly live with the idea that life needs to be perfect in order for you to attain true joy, you get muddled up into a whole lot of bad habits because you’re chasing after something that really isn’t there.

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You can’t fix him… and why that matters.

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I have spent about a year wanting to write about God-centered relationships but my heart wasn’t in the right place. I felt like a hypocrite.

My ex-boyfriend is a “Christian”. However, we didn’t view our faith in the same way. He believed in God, but didn’t like going to church, praying, reading the Bible, getting involved in youth group or even talking with me about how amazing the God we serve really is.

Depending on where you are in your relationship with God, that might not seem like a big deal to you. But for me, it was. My relationship with God comes first in my life and I wanted to be with someone who felt the same way. I spent a lot of time asking God whether or not I should be in a relationship with this guy and whether or not he was a part of God’s plan for my life. I so badly wanted Him to show me the “right” path to take. Beyond that, I wasted countless times listing pros and cons trying to figure out if being with this guy long term was something that I really wanted.

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Discounted Candy & Cheap Romance

One of the best things after Valentine’s Day? Getting a sweet-tooth fix… for cheap.

Just walk into Target and you’ll find aisles of discounted Valentine’s Day chocolate. Pink colored m&m’s, a box of Russel Stover’s candies, heart-shaped Sweet Tarts…. they’ve got it all.

Unfortunately, it’s not just the candy that is devalued  post-Valentine’s Day. It’s the relationships too.

How many broken hearts do you think there have been since Valentine’s Day?? (and I’m not talking about the strawberry filled ones)

I’m talking about real hearts, hearts that were supposedly head-over-heels “in love”, pumped up on the artificial flavoring of  Valentine’s sweets, thinking it was the real thing. But insincere love is only sweet for a moment.

Valentine’s Day is over. The candy goes on sale. And just like so many girls buy the cheap candy, they buy into cheap love. They trade long-lasting love for a sugary rush of the moment. They make excuses for guys that don’t treat them the way they should. They date a guy that doesn’t respect them for who they are. They settle for second best.

Don’t get me wrong, some girls experience the type of Valentine’s Day that everyone dreams of. It’s sweet, you spend the day with an amazing guy God has blessed you with, and you make memories that will last forever.

But whether you were single, are single, or in a relationship, always seek God’s best for you: a relationship with Jesus Christ.

There is no greater love than Love that comes from God.

His love is never cheap.

It cost Jesus his life. He paid everything, laid down His life, for us. That’s not a cheapened romance. That’s true love.