I didn’t think I wanted to get married so young. I wasn’t looking for a husband. I was looking for a career. Marriage and family? That could wait until after I’d put my degree to use. Maybe 28. Maybe 30. That’s when it would be time to settle down..... Those were my thoughts as a nineteen year old girl. I knew that I wanted to get married… someday. But that someday seemed a lot farther off than the two years when I’d be standing in front of the altar exchanging wedding vows at only 21 years old. So what changed? My perspective on what marriage is and what marriage isn’t. As a 21 year old bride, I realized that marriage isn’t just a season of life. It’s doing all of life... together.
We were engaged on our six month anniversary at my favorite spot on the beach. It rained on that day, and it was freezing cold. But it seemed to fit the theme of our relationship: things not going quite to plan.
As we arrive at this new season with the stability of a paycheck, a house payment and a family of three, it seems we are no longer “in the waiting”. In the world’s eyes, we’ve finally arrived. This is “the moment we’ve been waiting for”, or so we are told.
For three weeks I prayed and pleaded with God to close the door if he’s not the one. Prayed over and over again "let thy will be done". This waiting time strengthened my trust and faith in The Lord.
When they stood at the altar in 1985, Ken and Tamalyn Peterson vowed to love each other through sickness and health. They never could have understood the depth of that promise or the bleak diagnoses that the future held. It began with a tremor in her pinky. But Tammy quickly realized that the involuntary movement … Continue reading In sickness and in health | Tamalyn’s true love story
I've always been a self- conscious person, but he never grew impatient with me when I would get insecure or need to talk with him about something. I could tell he cared about putting in work to learn what I needed from him. And he valued listening to me when I asked him what he needed from me. Marriage is a long road that is going to need a lot of work. You need to find a partner that values putting the work in, and that will respect your needs, as well as communicating his own.
We make sure that God is the focus of each of our lives. We encourage each other to pursue God, which in turn, makes God the center of our relationship.
Thoroughly enjoy your single days and use them to become the person God created you to be. There will be less time to pursue dreams and hobbies when you are caring for a family. So if you have already done that you will be more content when you do not have as much time for those things.
I don’t know myself as well as I thought I did, God is exactly who He says He is, and marriage is a beautiful commitment that will change you. Period. You can’t live with someone day in and day out and not have them reshape the way you see the world on some level. Make sure you are choosing someone that will help you change for the better! Make sure he’s a genuine leader with your best interest at heart.
Ultimately, we think we know a thing or two about love when we get married, but God, who IS love, keeps working out what love looks like practically, day to day, and I realize how much I have to learn!