Hearing of quite a few break-ups recently and having quite a few young women reach out to our ministry for advice, I thought it was time to share a few of the tips I’ve learned in hopes that they might help some lovely ladies that are going through break-ups right now:
There’s a certain movie star with an hourglass shape, red lips, and bright blonde hair who gave her two cents about how girls like us should handle relationships: “If they can’t handle you at your worst, they don’t deserve you at your best.” In other words, if your guy can’t put up with you when you’re feeling impatient, grumpy, insecure (and the list goes on), you should dump him and find someone who can.
The hard truth is that some things just don’t need to be said at all. While my husband and I wholeheartedly believe in open communication and zero secrets, I’ve learned that every sigh of discontentment and passing annoyance doesn’t need to be shared, even with my husband. It’s difficult and nuanced. But sometimes our needs, suggestions, or opinions are excuses for selfishness.
The part that most people tend to overlook is that we are to submit to one another. We found that we appreciate each other so much more when we serve one another and share everyday responsibilities instead of merely focusing on our own. So my husband washes the dishes. I do too. Usually I cook. Sometimes he cleans. He pulls weeds. I mow the lawn. I do a load of laundry, then he does. We are careful not to assign jobs based on gender roles because we know being husband and wife isn’t about who works indoors and who works outdoors. It's a mirror of Christ and the church.
We make sure that God is the focus of each of our lives. We encourage each other to pursue God, which in turn, makes God the center of our relationship.
This month we set out on a journey to explore the rocky road of each other's life lessons. We shared the heartache, the embarrassing stories, and the things we wish we had known when we were younger. As women, we have a lot of pressures surrounding us and a lot mistakes to be made. But we also have a lot to learn from each other if we only take the time to listen.