Praying for a relationship, or not praying for a relationship - I don’t believe that’s necessarily what moves the heart of God. I think what moves the heart of God is pursuit of Him.
It's my prayer that as we walk through this life together, we would always remember the lessons we learned early on in our marriage. I pray that we would use every trial we face, not as an excuse for self-pity, but as an invitation to walk beside someone else in their pain. That's literally what you've chosen to do for a career. And I couldn't be more proud on your graduation day.
"One day my prince will come,” the words of Snow White echo in the hearts of many as we daydream of the day when we’ll be swept off our feet. This idea has slowly infiltrated our culture and told us that one day we’ll find our soulmate, and largely that it ultimately does not matter what we do or don’t do, but they’ll be coming for us when the time is right.
Most rom coms go the same way - two individuals on completely separate paths fall in love, experience relational conflict, and overcome it through their feelings for each other. We’re fed the message by our movies and media that as long as two individuals love one another, it will work. But our generation isn’t buying it. We see the effect of broken relationships all around us and wonder what we are missing.
We’ve all seen it happen. Someone you know, or maybe it was you, fell too quick too fast and ended up with a broken heart. “Maybe next time,” you think, “I should play hard to get.”
There’s a certain movie star with an hourglass shape, red lips, and bright blonde hair who gave her two cents about how girls like us should handle relationships: “If they can’t handle you at your worst, they don’t deserve you at your best.” In other words, if your guy can’t put up with you when you’re feeling impatient, grumpy, insecure (and the list goes on), you should dump him and find someone who can.
The hard truth is that some things just don’t need to be said at all. While my husband and I wholeheartedly believe in open communication and zero secrets, I’ve learned that every sigh of discontentment and passing annoyance doesn’t need to be shared, even with my husband. It’s difficult and nuanced. But sometimes our needs, suggestions, or opinions are excuses for selfishness.
My husband and I are celebrating our five year anniversary. In some ways it seems new. Like we got married yesterday. And in other ways, knowing him feels like knowing every last word to my favorite song.
I cannot expect to become the woman God wants me to be by being a lady in waiting in the way the fairytales paint the picture. God made me for so much more than that, and He wants me to become a woman after His own heart. God’s top priority is not giving me what I want, it is making me into who He wants.
The part that most people tend to overlook is that we are to submit to one another. We found that we appreciate each other so much more when we serve one another and share everyday responsibilities instead of merely focusing on our own. So my husband washes the dishes. I do too. Usually I cook. Sometimes he cleans. He pulls weeds. I mow the lawn. I do a load of laundry, then he does. We are careful not to assign jobs based on gender roles because we know being husband and wife isn’t about who works indoors and who works outdoors. It's a mirror of Christ and the church.