I remember crying myself to sleep in high school because of a joke some boy I barely even knew had made about my weight. I was about seventeen at the time, but my struggle with the way I looked had begun much before that. I had always been a “normal-sized girl” growing up, until I hit puberty. That, plus all the junk food I consumed when I went away to boarding school, caused me to put on a lot of weight. It wasn’t until people began to notice that I realized what a large part of my identity was formed around the way I looked and even more so around the way that people saw me.
You’re not good enough. You’re ugly. You’re not thin enough. You’re not smart enough. The voices get so loud that I can’t focus on anything else. As I stare into the mirror, the feeling that I’m worthless plagues my mind and suffocates me. My joy is gone. But what if our perspective meant more than our perfection?
Our identity is not in manliness or womanliness but godliness. It's less about sexual orientation and more about gospel orientation. We must find our identity in Christ. Then, and only then, can our hearts truly change. Then, and only then, will we love the things He loves.
The old phrase, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me,” is one of the biggest lies to ever penetrate our society. The wounds from the words of others have left a far more lasting impression upon my heart than the physical wounds I have received.
Believe it or not, negative self talk is a form of conceit. We think that we’re the center of attention and that everyone is watching us.
How we choose to present ourselves matters. Who your friends are. How you talk. What you post on social media. How you dress. All these things show people something about you. Perhaps it will be all of you they ever see.
It was then I asked the question: where is God? I knew Him my entire life, I knew He was good, I knew He had my back, but I couldn’t feel him. I didn’t feel fulfilled. Even after reading every cliche quote about who you are, nothing made me feel significant enough.