For as long as I can remember, I’ve been the “Good Girl.” The kind one. The honest one. The encouraging one. The happy one. The good one. I knew the right things to do and say: what my family wanted, what my friends wanted, even what I thought God wanted. I was polished on the outside, doing all the “right” things, but on the inside, I was selfish. I was angry. I felt inadequate. I was driven by performance and perfection.
Like most of you, I love to watch rom-coms. I’m not the biggest fan of the Hallmark channel, but my parents are in December and February. My personal favorite movie is 10 Things I Hate About You, but I am definitely a sucker for the storylines in The Notebook, The Longest Ride, The Proposal, The Lucky One and plenty of Disney favorites (I am a proud Disney fanatic, no shame). But friends, we need to WAKE UP.
Constant compliments. Special date nights. Lots of hand holding. It's nice to think that your love language will match up effortlessly with your significant other, but what if it doesn't? That's the case for my husband Joseph and I.
If I were to imagine myself there in Bethlehem all those years ago, walking toward baby Jesus in His manger, I imagine I would be met with an inner conflict. Yes, this baby is to be the Savior of the world; however, I think I would be wrestling with the thought of how dirty I felt in His presence. He was born as an act of love to save me, yet if this baby could comprehend all the struggles in my brain and all the sins I wrestle with…well, wouldn’t that be a tad inappropriate?
It was then I asked the question: where is God? I knew Him my entire life, I knew He was good, I knew He had my back, but I couldn’t feel him. I didn’t feel fulfilled. Even after reading every cliche quote about who you are, nothing made me feel significant enough.
"Sticks and stones may break your bones.... but words will hurt too." You're fat. I don't like you. You're ugly. Your'e dumb. It's amazing how hurtful words can be when we put our confidence in what people think. [Insert the big BUT (with one "t") here] BUT You are more than your weight. BUT You … Continue reading Sticks and Stones
Songs can be so catchy, can’t they?! You find yourself repeating the same tune and lyrics through your mind over and over and over again… and eventually you start singing it aloud (which isn’t always a good thing for some people) wishing it would go away. Well today I found myself singing Wrecking Ball by … Continue reading The Wreckage of a Wrecking Ball