Lies We’ve Believed | An AMH Blog Series
Ever since I was a young girl, I dreamed of having a prestigious career. There has always been something in me that has desired to have the status of a successful career woman, a woman who has done something with her life. Intelligence and prestige had become so important in my life that being a wife and mother didn’t really appeal to me all that much. Honestly, it was pride in my heart that told me that being a wife and mother wasn’t good enough. Sure, eventually I wanted to have kids. But in my mind, the end-all goal was to be successful and to make a name for myself.
I believed the lie. The lie that so many fall for. The lie that says that being a homemaker isn’t a high enough calling to be a successful woman.
[This is a hot-button topic, so please hear my heart in this.]
Feminism Was Never Meant To Fulfill Us
We live in a culture that is super-saturated with voices that tell us where we get our value. The feminist message that is so ingrained in our minds tells us that in order to be of any worth, we have to achieve. We have to pursue a career outside of the home in order to make something of ourselves. What’s the value in changing diapers and doing dishes? Where’s the fulfillment?
The earliest feminist organized event was the Seneca Falls convention in 1848. Starting out, the feminist movement emphasized the rights for women to have college education, property ownership rights, equal pay, and the right to vote. At first, the values of the women’s movement were good and necessary. However, today we see that the feminist movement has taken a turn, saying that women are not just equal to men, but the same as men. Not only do we hear the message that we are the same, but the pressure to achieve success in the workplace is huge. Not only do we have the rights to a career, but we are expected to pursue one. In the book, Lies Young Women Believe, Nancy Demoss Wolgemuth and Dannah Gresh write, “Today women can hold the same jobs as men, but there is little in our culture today that encourages those women to make being a wife and a mother a priority. In their quest for equality, feminists have undermined the concepts of motherhood and homemaking. Our culture has been profoundly changed as a result, and countless lives and homes have been scarred and broken.”
The world’s standard of what it means to be a woman is nowhere near the same as God’s design. The feminist movement tells us that we are the same as men, besides our physiological differences, so therefore we should pursue the same opportunities. But God’s design for womanhood is so much greater than what the world has to offer.
God’s Design Reveals Our Unique Purpose
“Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good that man should be alone; I will make a helper fit for him.” (Genesis 2:18)
In the beginning of time when God created Adam, he saw that there was something missing. He specifically designed Eve to fill in the void. She was made to be the helper and supporter.
As a culture we want to blur the lines of gender roles. We want to diminish the fact that we do, indeed, have differences from men. No matter how much we deny it, God has beautifully designed men and women uniquely. However, our intrinsic value is the same.
“So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise.” (Galatians 3:26-29)
This passage clearly states that in Christ Jesus, we have equal value. Many people twist this to say male and females are the same. However, these verses are talking about our intrinsic value rather than roles. Titus 2:3-5 is a passage that addresses the distinct design for women.
“Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips, nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be dishonored.” (Titus 2:3-5)
What a beautiful description of what a godly woman looks like! Her household is of utmost importance. She is a servant-leader who puts the needs of those she lives with first.
What Kind of Home are You Making?
The world says that desiring to be a wife and mother is not a high calling in and of itself. There has to be a career ambition that goes along with it. In fact, often times when people hear that a woman has chosen to stay home with her kids instead of continuing her career, they think of homemaking as an inferior calling and waste of potential.
I can attest to the fact that I have fallen into this mindset. I LOVE learning, and often times put a high stress on academics. I remember a time when I thought that being a wife and mother would be a waste of my intelligence. However, as I studied God’s amazing design for womanhood, I discovered that being a homemaker is a high calling! Not to say that I don’t believe in women going to college and having a career. From a community relations specialist to a finance manager, every leader on our Across My Heart Team has a full-time job or is pursuing one through education. In fact, I’m planning on attending college. It is a blessing that we have the ability to do so.
However, I believe that God has designed women to make their home a priority first. This can look different depending on what season of life you’re in…. whether you are a daughter, a sister, a wife, or a mother. How do you treat your family? What sacrifices do you make for those you love? What things can you be doing to actively make your home a place where people are cared for and feel like they belong? What kind of home are you making even now?
My Mother’s Own Success Story
When a woman chooses to primarily pursue her career, her time is often divided. She is not able to input as much into her family’s lives. My mom went to college and got a teaching degree. When my sisters and I were born, she decided to stay home with us. I am so grateful for her decision to stay home and raise us. Because of her decision, she has been able to pour into our lives so much. Not only has my mom done so much for my family, she is a person that I can always process my thoughts and feelings with. She is our emotional support.
This week my mom was in the hospital. With her being gone, my sisters and I had to manage the household along with keeping up with our studies. While she was gone, I realized not only how much she does, but also how her absence affected my emotional stability. This week was so eye-opening for me. I am so grateful to my mom for the sacrifice that she has made for her family.
It is my prayer that we will be women who look to the truths of scriptures to live out our femininity. May we not look to the culture for the standard of what it means to be a successful woman. Let’s rejoice in the fact that our Creator has beautifully designed us as women for specific, important roles.
5 thoughts on “Lies We’ve Believed | Being a Homemaker Isn’t a High Enough Calling to be a Successful Woman”
Kaela – this is a profound and precocious message young women need to hear. Most do not figure it out until their mid-late 30’s after a child or three. Perhaps your message will awake a generation to the pride and joy of raising a strong and impactful family. Madison’s mom, now into her 50’s, has grown into the position of caretaker for her mother suffering from Alzheimer’s disease. When one studies Maslows hierarchy of needs you realize that defining ones self esteem through ones work has its share of limitations as you point out so eloquently. Enjoyed this very much. You’re truly blessed and appreciate your sharing …
We hope that this message will change our generation too! It’s our prayer. Thanks for reading along and sharing your insights as well. Living according to God’s design is difficult in today’s world but we are so encouraged by the blessing that it is to follow after Him!
Two years ago, I left a 15 year nursing career to finally stay home full time with my four children. I got a LOT of flack from coworkers : “won’t you be bored?” , “what about your degree?”, “I would never want to do that!”. It was kind of heartbreaking to hear that, especially when I new I was making the right decision for our family. I have never regretted my decision! It has been such a blessing to “just” be a wife and mom. Spinning all those plates was exhausting – and why do we do it? To prove that we can? Thank you for this message!
Two years ago, I left a 15 year nursing career to finally stay home full time with my four children. I got a LOT of flack from coworkers : “won’t you be bored?” , “what about your degree?”, “I would never want to do that!”. It was kind of heartbreaking to hear that, especially when I knew I was making the right decision for our family. I have never regretted my decision! It has been such a blessing to “just” be a wife and mom. Spinning all those plates was exhausting – and why do we do it? To prove that we can? Thank you for this message!