Too Lonely to Wait for True Love & Other Lies Young Women Believe [Book Review]

[Our team had the amazing opportunity to read a pre-release of Lies Young Women Believe Updated Edition and join Moody Publishing in an online Launch Team. The book released yesterday, and it couldn’t be more timely.]

It’s been ten years since the original book release, and some things haven’t changed. Girls still obsess over their reflection, whether in the mirror or on their front facing cameras. Gossip still reigns in school hallways. It’s just found its way onto social media too.

But other things have changed dramatically. And I’m not just talking about the flip phones and MySpace accounts.

Not the Same Old Lies

Last year, our team led a retreat where nine out of the ten girls in my small group confessed they struggle with pornography. Same-sex attraction. Sexting. Cutting. Things that weren’t even on our radar when we started this ministry eight years ago have become everyday weapons of spiritual warfare in Satan’s arsenal.

That’s where the new edition of Lies Young Women Believe comes into play.

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This book is filled with carefully selected truths from God’s Word (aka the Sword of Truth) to combat Satan’s most pervasive lies. Ten years ago when this first edition released, our team used it as a resource along with several other books from Nancy DeMoss Walgmuth and Dannah Gresh, including the Bride Who Wore White and Secret Keepers. But the things girls struggle with today have evolved and multiplied, partially due to the access to technology and largely due to the extensive nature of sin.

The book claims that this generation “is bombarded with more messages (many of them untrue) than any past generation” (DeMoss Walgemuth & Gresh, 2018, pg. 23).

And I believe it. With platforms like Instagram, Snap Chat, Buzzfeed, and Netflix, the voices of the world are hard to silence. Lies are all around us, each one carefully crafted as part of Satan’s mission to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10).

“Satan’s ultimate goal is our destruction and death. Not just physical death some day in the future. He’d like to make you a part of his walking dead on this earth, not free to enjoy God and life as He created you to live it” ((DeMoss Walgemuth & Gresh, 2018, pg. 21).

Satan wants to make us miserable… in this life and in eternity.

So What’s Sex Got to Do with It?

Our sexuality affects every part of us, but our culture is so saturated with sex that the lies can be hard for girls to identify. So I zoned right in on the chapter entitled “Lies about Sexuality”.

Perhaps no lies have longer-term consequences and pain than those we believe about guys and sexuality” (DeMoss Walgemuth & Gresh, 2018, pg. 106).

Our sexuality is deeply connected to our whole being. You don’t just “lose your virginity” like you lose your phone and don’t remember where you put it. No, it’s not like that. Our virginity is not something we simply “lose”. It’s deeply connected to who we are. Anyone who is no longer a virgin or who has been physically abused understands that our bodies are connected to our souls. We are holistic beings. Everything we do matters deeply to God. And Satan knows it.

I can date whoever I feel like dating…I need a boyfriend… It’s not really sex… I can’t handle the loneliness of staying pure.

Those are some of the sexual lies that the book bluntly addresses while tactfully counteracting them with truth. Let’s take a look at loneliness.

I Can’t Handle the Loneliness

There is a story in the Bible about a guy whose sexual purity gets put to the test… his name is Joseph. At a young age, Joseph had dreams that God was going to do something great in his life. His brothers got jealous, abused him, and sold him into slavery. However, his hard work ethic was noticed, and he became a slave for Potiphar, one of the Pharaoh’s top officials.

While working in the posh home, Potiphar’s wife tries to seduce Joseph. But he resists the temptation and literally flees from her advances! Way to go, Joe!

It’s an incredible story (you can read it in Genesis 39 for yourself), especially because of how emotionally vulnerable Joseph must have been. Think about it. He was sold to slavery. His mother had died. His brothers had abused him. No one understood him.

Joseph would have been very lonely.

Not only was he lonely, but he would have had the powerful hormones and sex drive of any young man in his early twenties. To top it off, he had no prospect to marry as a slave. He may have thought he’d be alone his whole life. And there stood Potiphar’s wife, offering herself to him day after day. She could have fulfilled a deep need for companionship. See the temptation?

Loneliness is real. It is a very real part of purity, and something this book spends a lot of time navigating.

“We believe that focusing on the loneliness opens you up to believe the lie that you’ll not be able to endure it. And that lie opens you up to compromise” (DeMoss Walgemuth & Gresh, 2018, pg. 103). 

Maybe you can relate. After all, we are a very lonely people. Social media alienates us behind screens as we look at our friends having fun without us. We see a party we weren’t invited to. We see one more relationship pop up on our newsfeed, and we always feel like a third wheel. We think there is no one who really understands.

  1. Satan will prey upon our loneliness. In our moments of isolation, we can draw closer to God or cling to unhealthy relationships to fill the hole. We must be aware of the emotional temptations that our sexual temptation preys upon.

Yes, a commitment to purity challenges you to safeguard your heart until it is the right time to “awaken” love. Yes, this often feels painful, but the pain of self-denial is far better than the pain of self-destruction” (DeMoss Walgemuth & Gresh, 2018, pg. 103).

2. We have no excuse. Joseph didn’t make an excuse. Joseph didn’t let sexual sin distract him from his purposes to live for God.

The fact is, loneliness is an inescapable reality in a fallen, broken world—whether you’re single or married! But if you will set your heart to seek God and His will above anything and anyone else, we can promise that you will never be truly alone, and you will never lack true joy”  (DeMoss Walgemuth & Gresh, 2018, pg. 104).

3. We need to have an action plan. How do you battle spiritual warfare? With a list of rules? Or with the truth of God’s Word?

“It’s not enough to know that the source of lies is Satan or even to realize how you have cooperated with him to empower lies. You’ve got to become familiar and saturated with Truth”  (DeMoss Walgemuth & Gresh, 2018, pg. 104).

For every blazing lie, we need to know the truth that quenches it.  And that’s what this book does. It gives us an arsenal of weaponry to fight back and stay pure so we can live the lives God plans for us.

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Across My Heart Team Approved Book:

Emmarie_Circle

Emmarie Moon | Communications Coordinator

I am so glad there’s a book out there to combat the lies young girls are hearing from the devil and the world. I wish I had access to this book in middle/high school, and I hope youth pastors/moms/mentors get the chance to go through it with the young women in their lives.

Kaela_Circle

Kaela Noelle | Social Media Coordinator

In a culture where we bombarded with unbiblical messages, we easily fall into believing the lies that are constantly in our face. This book is an excellent tool to not only recognize the lies we are believing, but also because it gives us the weaponry to arm ourselves against the enemy’s attacks.

 

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9 thoughts on “Too Lonely to Wait for True Love & Other Lies Young Women Believe [Book Review]

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