Getting lost and finding love [BOOK REVIEW]

In 2014, I went to my first ever True Woman Conference and attended the teen track where Dannah Gresh was one of the speakers.  In between two of the sessions I remember Dannah telling the room full of teenagers to do something crazy and whoever did the craziest thing would win a prize. So I did something goofy like carrying a friend to the front of the room while singing some absurd song at the top of our lungs.  And we won! (It might shock some people that I won a craziness competition!)  Our prize was a brand new copy of Dannah Gresh’s book Get Lost: Your Guide to Finding True Love.

I took it home and didn’t touch it for about a year. I had no idea what a treasure was sitting on my bookshelf.  But one night when I found myself hopelessly dreaming about being in a relationship, I figured I might as well read the book to help direct those thoughts and dreams.

Once I started reading, I couldn’t put it down. Dannah based this book on a quote that I think resonates in the heart of any single Christian girl:

A girl needs to be so lost in God that a guy has to seek Him to find her.

Dannah Gresh, Get Lost

The Violent Craving

If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably thought something along the lines of “Well that’s a nice idea, but do you actually ‘get lost’ in God’s love?”. The first step is to recognize patterns of sin.

Deep inside our hearts is a longing to be loved – a longing that’s not sinful. In fact, it’s a longing that God has placed within us. But if we’re not careful to lay this longing down before our Lord, it quickly turns into a craving. Dannah calls it the “Violent Craving.” She writes in her book, “I believe that every daughter of Eve is burdened by both a Craving for a husband and a rebellion against God’s design for marriage.” It was the Fall that warped the good and beautiful longing for love into a violent craving and created in us a spirit of defiance.

Dannah begins her book by helping the reader to recognize this Violent Craving in our own personal lives, call it out, and to lay it before God. This is a critical step – in order for us to become more like Jesus and free from the grips of a violent craving for a guy, we have to acknowledge our sin and be willing to repent and turn from it, in Christ’s strength.

The Love Feast

If we’re turning from this violent craving, what is it that we are turning to in order to satisfy the longing we have in our hearts to be loved? The never-ending, sacrificial, steadfast love of God. Dannah writes, “The temporary ‘fix’ you get when you feed the Craving pales in comparison to the satisfaction that comes from being fully consumed with the unfailing love of Jesus Christ. And only His love can prepare you to live out agape in your human relationships.” (Check out this blog to learn more about agape).

Get Lost is divided into three sections, with the first describing the Craving and the second detailing and guiding a “love feast.”  If a girl is to get lost in God, she has to feast on His love. It’s not enough to just occasionally get a taste. She has to help herself to the banquet that has been prepared before her. But how do you feast on God’s love? By reading His word. By truly studying it. By soaking it in and writing it across her heart.

And so the middle 10 chapters of Get Lost are an invitation to a love feast – a period of 10 days to dive into God’s Word and to study it deeply. Dannah encourages the reader to give up the best part of their day – and as much of it as they feel the Lord is leading them to – to spend time in the Word and to study the character of God.

Psalm 119:147 says, “I rise before dawn and cry for help; I wait for Your words.” Psalm 5:3 has a similar message, “In the morning, O LORD, You will hear my voice; in the morning I will order my prayer to You and eagerly watch.”  

During a love feast, a daughter of the King will wait to hear His words, will cry out to Him, and will eagerly wait to see how He will work.

These 10 chapters provide a basic guide for a time of devotion every day to be spend with the Lord. Every day, a song to listen to, scripture to pray, and some thoughts from Dannah are provided. But then she encourages you to do your own study of His word.  And let me tell you, it is a sweet time of basking in the Lord’s presence and learning about His character. Through His word, He speaks truth, convicts the heart of sinful ways, provides hope, and satisfies us with His love.

In spending time communing with God, our craving begins to change – we start to want more of Him. Over time, we begin to crave what we consume. So if we consume truth from God’s word, the desire of our hearts will become to know Him more fully.

Let’s Get Lost

The third part of the book describes the fulfillment that comes if we truly get lost in God.

Dannah drives home the idea that “The point of getting lost in God’s love is not to find a guy. It’s to get lost in God’s love.” And when we have the desire to get lost in God, we can rest in the knowledge that He will be faithful to quiet the longings of our heart, as Zephaniah 3:17 says.

I was recently sharing with my sister that even though I’ve struggled for as long as I can remember with the overwhelming craving for a guy, I’ve been detecting a shift in my attitude regarding relationships. As a means of protecting myself from hurt or disappointment, I’ve listened to lies about marriage – maybe it’s not really what I want. Maybe it would just be a big disappointment. But I know that the truth about marriage is that it is a beautiful gift and a representation of the marriage between Christ and His church.

And so my sister challenged me with the question, “How are you going to fight against both of those mindsets – the unhealthy craving and the destructive lies?”  I knew that the answer was that I needed to get lost in God’s love – again. It’s not a one time deal. Getting lost is a continual journey of seeking God and being sought by Him. Will you join me?  Order a copy of Dannah’s book, commit to spend extended time in God’s Word (you can even join in on our study of Isaiah!), and get lost in the mystery of unfailing love.

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