Christian Cosmo, The Sex Talk You Never Had [Book Review]

Catchy title, isn’t it?

The author, Phylicia Masonheimer, didn’t pull any punches in writing this book.  She shares a very open, honest, and godly perspective on sexuality and God’s design for it.

What to expect?  The chapter headlines include: Reframing Sex in Your Mind, Why God Designed Sex for Marriage, What if I’m Not a Virgin, How to Live as a Forgiven Woman, What to Know About the Wedding Night, The Truth about Fantasizing, and more.


Who is this book for?  Phylicia answers this question best in covering her motivations behind writing the book.

As a teenager, I knew sex existed.  I wanted to know more, but felt guilty about pursuing that knowledge.  I quickly saw sex and shame as one entity. My sources for sexual information weren’t that great: Cosmopolitan, Jane Magazine, and whatever articles I could find online. These offered facts about sex, but rarely did those facts coincide with my Christian worldview. I longed for truth about sexuality; I wanted the details of Cosmo, but the perspective of Christ.

I never found what I was looking for, so now – ten years later – I’m writing it for you.”

There are so many sources out there feeding curious minds with unhealthy and damaging perspectives on sexuality.  I loved reading Phylicia’s book because I think a lot of us have been where she was, wanting to know more but uncomfortable with asking questions.

I can still remember my mom sitting down with me to have the sex talk. She did her best job explaining it, but the truth is that neither one of us were all that comfortable with the conversation. And I was too embarrassed to ask any further questions at the time.


I had the privilege of meeting Phylicia at a conference this past month and was able to hear her speak and learn more about her ministry.  It was refreshing to meet another individual who had a similar passion as Across My Heart Ministries – pursuing God with every part of your life.

Mandi, Ashley, and Laura at Cornerstone University’s Women’s Conference with Phylicia Masonheimer

Because the materials covered in this book can be explicit at times, it’s important to be mindful as a reader.  In chatting with Phylicia, I asked if she had a specific age range in mind for the book, and it really came down the situation.  Her original thought was for girls age sixteen and up, but if someone younger is asking those tough questions, it would be a great opportunity to start up a small group with an older mentor who can walk through the book with them.

Being a long time team member of Across My Heart Ministries, I found that this book reaffirmed the Biblical answers I’ve found to be true regarding sexuality. I would highly suggest this book to someone who still has questions or would like to reframe their current understanding.  If you’re in your twenties, like me, or if you’re married, about to get married, or a mom with a young daughter, READ THIS BOOK!


On her website Phylicia wrote,“We need a revolution of sexual understanding based on the principles of God’s Word. We need women to educate themselves from a biblical perspective, to refuse shame, ignorance, and fear, and teach others to celebrate their sexuality according to God’s design.”

There are so many questions surrounding our sexuality and so many answers to be found in God’s Word. I’m excited for this new movement, as Ashley puts it: The Sexual Revelation.  Not the Purity Movement or Sexual Revolution, but a new revelation based on biblical principles and God’s heart for His people. With every ounce of truth, we are reclaiming a beautiful piece of God’s creation that Satan has wielded as a weapon and stumbling block for far too long.

Thank you, Phylicia, for sharing this powerful message and being a voice of truth in this revolution!


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