Growing Pains | An AMH Blog Series

I’ve always been that girl who is looking for the next thing.  That girl who strives to be better. Being satisfied with where I’m at is a struggle.

As a family, we love watching old family videos.  There’s one that happened when I was two years old.  My dad asked me and my sister how old we were. My older sister responded by saying she was four.  When it was my turn to talk, I immediately said that I was four, too. Of course my big sister corrected me.  Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve been eager to get to the next stage. I’ve strived after what I don’t have.  

Moving on to the next thing

Our world has so many things to offer. So many things that we are pressured to go after and achieve. We see perfect bodies on the internet, we feel pressure to have a successful job. But whenever we achieve the next thing, there’s always something more.  

When I was little, I so longed to be older. But whenever my birthday came, I quickly became discontent and desperately wanted the next one to come. Of course as I got older, my wish to be older developed into new desires.  I began obsessing about my body image. No matter how thin I was, I wasn’t satisfied. There was always another pound I could shed. There was always another makeup product that I didn’t have. I began feeling like no matter what I did, I wasn’t enough. I would never be good enough. I would never feel satisfied.  

Losing the satisfaction of gratification

I wasted so many hours striving after things that ultimately led to heartache. I spent so much time, effort, and energy on my desires, but thing after thing would fail. I wasn’t able to live a life full of joy. Instead, I was bogged down by seeking things that the I thought would bring happiness. And the truth is, what I wanted would bring me happiness–temporarily. Solomon struggled with the same exact thing. Except that he actually had everything his heart desired. He was the richest man that ever lived!  Solomon wrote in Ecclesiastes 1:14, “I have seen all things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind.”He literally had everything. Yet he realized that everything he desired was fleeting. Something that couldn’t really be grasped.    

The things of this world do bring us happiness. But they don’t bring us joy. There’s such a difference. Happiness is circumstantial. When we achieve that thing that we’ve been working for, we feel a sense of happiness, but it doesn’t last. That instant gratification is lost. Joy, on the other hand, is completely opposite. It’s something that lasts, even in the most dire of situations.  It’s not circumstantial. The biggest difference is that happiness comes from what we do. Joy is found in knowing Jesus Christ, our Savior.

Cutting through the distractions

The problem is that we are distracted. Our eyes are averted. We don’t gaze upon the face of Jesus. The world shoved its ideas in our face. We become obsessed with obtaining what it offers. But what would it look like if we chased after Jesus like that? The difference is that it’s not a striving after the wind. In fact, Jesus’ arms are outstretched.  

The reason that we are discontent is because we are trying to find satisfaction in places that ultimately don’t satisfy. We have a void in our hearts. Something that needs to be filled. But we fill it with whatever is in front of us. We spend hours and hours trying to fill the hole, but it can’t be filled. The reason we have that void is because we were created for something deeper. Jesus Christ is the only One who will fill it. When we look to Jesus for our satisfaction, we will never again thirst.  

John 6:35 “Jesus said to them ‘I am the Bread of Life; he who comes to Me will not hunger, and he who believes in Me will never thirst.”

I can get so distracted by the cares of this world. I forget that this life is fleeting, and all the earthly things that I care about now are but a breath. My priorities get messed up. I get caught up in what’s going in my life so that I forget to savor Jesus. I forget to come to Him. I forget to lay my cares at his feet. My desire is that I will truly seek and savor Jesus. That He would be the One and only that my soul desires. That He would be the One I delight in. That I would learn to stop the endless striving after the wind.  

Savoring His presence

Psalm 27:4 “One thing have I asked of the Lord, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in his temple.”

If you are at all like me, you want to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord.  Your heart desires the right thing, but your flesh is weak. The messages around us are blaring, and we so easily get distracted.  I want to close in a prayer. If this is your heart, let’s flood the gates of heaven with this request.

Lord, I want to gaze upon your beauty.  I want to hunger for you. I want to be filled with your Spirit and never hunger again.  But my flesh is weak. I strive after the things of this world. But they don’t satisfy. Remind me every day that You are the One who can fill my heart.  You are the One who can bring me joy. You are the One that will never fail. Lord, work in my life and sanctify me so that I will forever dwell in the house of the Lord, gazing at your beautiful face.